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to my love



  • hey. how have you been? i hope you're going okay rn. i know you've been super busy lately. i hope you're not stressing too bad. at least it's time away from your parents right? haha i hope you guys been straight. i've been through so much. just wanted to update you if thats ok. i'm not as horrible at driving. you might disagree, but i think i've been doing better. i cleaned up my life a little more. got everything under control. balancing school and working out. got a few friends to try and fill the hole you left. been doing kinda better. got through today without tears. so that's huge progress for me. made plans this weekend to keep myself busy. gonna chill at brandon's saturday, then we're going to some party from saturday night to sunday morning, then crash at brandon's for the night, then make some clothes w him some of sunday. gotta get out and make some new memories. av wears my shirt now! it doesn't exactly fit, but oversized shirts are in style anyways. he's so cool, just like his dad. he misses you. alot. he lost your scent. kinda sucks, but it's okay. got some female friends in my life again. they're really weird. it's hard to talk to someone if they aren't you. they just don't know like you do, y know? i'm running out of the chanel. and i don't have money to buy more fragrance. i have to use the last of it on av. stuffed animals are good at keeping scent. maybe when you get him back and you smell him, maybe you'll think of me again. i don't know if he'll ever go back home to you though.. kinda sucks, i promised him that he'd go back to you. i don't even know what im rambling about. i miss you. you've been m.i.a recently. i get it tho. you got better things to do now. my mom still asks about you. i still haven't deleted those pictures. i stare at them all day, thinking about how it was back then. when you still cared. i should just move on. i have to stop caring. this won't ever get to you anyways. i miss u so much b. keep smiling.

    all my love, -c


 

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